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{Dream-logic rarely succeeds.}Archive for dreams
What Comes in Dreams
I still miss my Arjuna. It’ weird and I know that I shouldn’t, but I do and I suppose my subconcious knows that better than even I.
I’m lying in my bed with no pants on (because it’s winter and cargo pants are uncomfortable to sleep in), and out of no where Arjuna shows up. He tells me that he’s getting married the next day at this resort where we’re both staying (how he managed to get into my room, and why it’s my dorm room, I have no idea), and he wanted to see me one more time, or something.
For no readily apparent reason he takes off his shirt and crawls into bed next to me. He tells me that he’s sorry, and that he hasn’t forgotten, but he’s a changed man now. I smile and turn around so that I’m facing him and extend a hand in a mock handshake. “Pleased to meet you,” I say, “I have no name.” I’m not sure if he gets this oblique reference to my more annoying activities involving him, but he says nothing, and we just lie there for a while.
There is a mosquito, and it bites Arjuna. I offer to open the window to see if it will fly out, but Arjuna gets out of the bed as I’m doing so and begins putting on his shirt (it’s light blue), saying that he needs to get going anyway. He wants Kitty and I to help him pick out movies for something, I’m not sure what.
The next thing I know, Arjuna is getting married to a skinny girl with clearly colored reddish/orange hair and goth make-up. She’s wearing a pair of grey dress pants, and keeps complaining that they make her look like she has no ass. It’s true, in fact, but I say nothing. At some point I recycle several soda cans.
After the wedding Sterling is back in his t-shirt and jeans, and desperately trying to evade having to look after his new wife’s twin toddler cousins. Kassi and I go looking for him. Just as we reach the bottom of a set of stairs, Sterling catches me around the waist and makes some self-righteous comment about how he hates children. I can’t help but wonder why he got married.
Then I wake up. Damn dorms.
If only Donne had known. . .
It seems that my somewhat encyclopedic knowledge of sexual innuendo is classic British poetry will finally come in handy come mid-May when I take the AP English Exam. One of the questions on the practice test I took on Monday was regarding just that, so of course I knew the answer. There is a lot of sex in Donne’s poetry, the pervy bastard.
I’m almost tempted to compose on the subject myself, however, given recent events which have come to my attention.
It seems Zagreus has been dreaming again, and this time about Aylin. This is the second time this has happened that I can remember. The first time they kissed. This time. . . this time they went rather further. Zagreus appears to be quite traumatized by the situation, since he refuses to give Aylin any information besides the fact that the dream occurred without her having to drag it out of him. Hazael and I are fairly certain that he’s probably worried that Aylin will take offense in some way, possibly because of a possible extrapolation of the pocket-incident involving reenacting that dream in a more concrete setting.
I can’t say I think Aylin would much mind.
She’s grown distant of late, a result of constant pining after Zagreus. But I can’t blame her. It’s hard to be alone again after knowing human touch.
Coming Home
The homecoming game was last night.
I don’t think I’ve seen E that depressed in a very long time. Just talking to Zagreus set her off crying about how much she misses the way things used to be in band. She misses Mason more than she’d ever like to admit, really. Graduation last year was one of the first times she’d ever touched him voluntarily (a hug at the last possible second) and she nearly cried then because of it. And then, seeing all the seniors who came back last night (and that he wasn’t among them) just set her off once she got home. I’m not afraid to admit that I was more than a little terrified, both for myself and Zagreus.
To Zagreus’ credit, he did try to comfort her some, but she wouldn’t let him, citing that she’ll just get over it. In some ways she will… but all this is going to do is compound. Eventually she’s just going to break down and I don’t know if he’ll know what to do, or it if will scare him off. His experience with women (even as much as he has been attempting to work out issues with Cheryl and her suitors) is somewhat limited.
Zagreus had a dream about E the other night, self-admitted to be one of the first he can remember which involves someone besides his own family.
They kissed.
He refused to tell her about it in person, and definatly not until he’d had time to look up the implications of such an action. As E says, there are some things you just can’t look at a person in the eye and say at the same time, at least until the subject has been broached in a less personal setting. The idiots can’t have a lengthy conversation about anything of any depth in person, but get them online and they can talk for hours about 30 second on a dream. It’s amazing, really.
He admitted that he liked the kiss, however, which has implanted some rather odd thoughts in E’s mind. I’m sure I don’t need to spell them out.
I thought they’d gotten it fairly well sorted out, though apparently Zagreus didn’t feel quite the same way. He pretty much completely avoided E the next day and refused to make eye-contact for more than a couple seconds during the brief period they did see each other after school. Zagreus’ explanation is that he was in a sort of weird, introspective mood (which is possible) but my bets are on that he still wasn’t sure about whether or not E was going to blow up at him. There’s no doubt that they trust eachother so far as things that have already occured goes(otherwise the things that have been shared never would have been), but the ability to predict future actions isn’t really there yet. Even E can’t say for certain what she thinks Zagreus will do, and that goes doubly for him.
So certainly they trust…but they don’t know. Not at all.
In other news…
I’ve barely written a word in a very long time. I think that no longer being able to speak face to face with Kitty is starting to affect me aversely. She was the catalyst that kept me going… and now she’s in Iowa. Long distance relationships never work out very well.
How can you promise never to leave someone alone? E and Zagreus made that vow one night when both of them seemed to be in a fit of neoplatonic idiotcy. No matter where life took them, they said, no matter what happened, they would always stay friends (or perhaps more? though that was left unsaid) and in touch. But things happen. Things happen.
We’re all leaving for college in just a matter of months now. Perhaps all the way on opposite sides of the country. Our chances of seeing each other again are getting slimmer and slimmer with every plan for the future made. It’s so easy to make plans to meet up again at NDK to reminisce and discuss what has still yet to come… but it’s easier still to just forget and move on. I told Zagreus (though I don’t really think he knew it was me) that it’s pointless to develop relationships you don’t plan on maintaining, but plans change. We move away… things get lost or forgotten in the sea of new obligations (or employment, friendships, even love) and what is not involved in the here and now becomes infinitely less important until that one lonely night when we’re lying in bed and suddenly remember…
And by then it may be too late. The damage is done.
…and I’m going to stop this rant before I lose track of what I’m trying to say completely.
The Captain’s eyes are blue. I never noticed this until E pointed it out to me one day in pit orchestra.
I’ve found him a new theme song as well, oddly enough also by They Might Be Giants. It’s called “Cap’m”, and now resides alongside “Ponytail” on the list of songs which describe him very well.
That is all.
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