The homecoming game was last night.

I don’t think I’ve seen E that depressed in a very long time.  Just talking to Zagreus set her off crying about how much she misses the way things used to be in band.  She misses Mason more than she’d ever like to admit, really.  Graduation last year was one of the first times she’d ever touched him voluntarily (a hug at the last possible second) and she nearly cried then because of it.  And then, seeing all the seniors who came back last night (and that he wasn’t among them) just set her off once she got home.  I’m not afraid to admit that I was more than a little terrified, both for myself and Zagreus.

To Zagreus’ credit, he did try to comfort her some, but she wouldn’t let him, citing that she’ll just get over it.  In some ways she will… but all this is going to do is compound.  Eventually she’s just going to break down and I don’t know if he’ll know what to do, or it if will scare him off.   His experience with women (even as much as he has been attempting to work out issues with Cheryl and her suitors) is somewhat limited.

Zagreus had a dream about E the other night, self-admitted to be one of the first he can remember which involves someone besides his own family.

They kissed.

He refused to tell her about it in person, and definatly not until he’d had time to look up the implications of such an action.  As E says, there are some things you just can’t look at a person in the eye and say at the same time, at least until the subject has been broached in a less personal setting.  The idiots can’t have a lengthy conversation about anything of any depth in person, but get them online and they can talk for hours about 30 second on a dream.  It’s amazing, really.

He admitted that he liked the kiss, however, which has implanted some rather odd thoughts in E’s mind.  I’m sure I don’t need to spell them out.

I thought they’d gotten it fairly well sorted out, though apparently Zagreus didn’t feel quite the same way.  He pretty much completely avoided E the next day and refused to make eye-contact for more than a couple seconds during the brief period they did see each other after school.  Zagreus’ explanation is that he was in a sort of weird, introspective mood (which is possible) but my bets are on that he still wasn’t sure about whether or not E was going to blow up at him.  There’s no doubt that they trust eachother so far as things that have already occured goes(otherwise the things that have been shared never would have been), but the ability to predict future actions isn’t really there yet.  Even E can’t say for certain what she thinks Zagreus will do, and that goes doubly for him.

So certainly they trust…but they don’t know.  Not at all.

In other news…

I’ve barely written a word in a very long time.  I think that no longer being able to speak face to face with Kitty is starting to affect me aversely.  She was the catalyst that kept me going… and now she’s in Iowa.  Long distance relationships never work out very well.

How can you promise never to leave someone alone?  E and Zagreus made that vow one night when both of them seemed to be in a fit  of neoplatonic idiotcy.  No matter where life took them, they said, no matter what happened, they would always stay friends (or perhaps more?  though that was left unsaid) and in touch.  But things happen.  Things happen.

We’re all leaving for college in just a matter of months now.  Perhaps all the way on opposite sides of the country.  Our chances of seeing each other again are getting slimmer and slimmer with every plan for the future made.  It’s so easy to make plans to meet up again at NDK to reminisce and discuss what has still yet to come… but it’s easier still to just forget and move on.  I told Zagreus (though I don’t really think he knew it was me) that it’s pointless to develop relationships you don’t plan on maintaining, but plans change.  We move away… things get lost or forgotten in the sea of new obligations (or employment, friendships, even love) and what is not involved in the here and now becomes infinitely less important until that one lonely night when we’re lying in bed and suddenly remember…

And by then it may be too late.  The damage is done.

…and I’m going to stop this rant before I lose track of what I’m trying to say completely.

The Captain’s eyes are blue.  I never noticed this until E pointed it out to me one day in pit orchestra.

I’ve found him a new theme song as well, oddly enough also by They Might Be Giants.  It’s called “Cap’m”, and now resides alongside “Ponytail” on the list of songs which describe him very well.

That is all.