My “family” is a deeply disfuntional one at best. And though there are those who would argue that no family is truly disfunctional, allow me to explain.

First of all is the “marriage” between Jessica “I’m not a freaking Russian” Bass (Inu) and E (to which I am a rather unwilling third party). Honestly, this isn’t all that strange. They’ve been joking about it, and arguing about which one wears the proverbial pants, on and off for years. At least in the circles I traverse, this sort of thing happens all the time. What doesn’t happen so often is the fact that Inu is actually getting married sometime in the relatively near future… to a 35 year old man. She is not even 18.

If this isn’t a classic case of robbing the cradle I don’t know what is.

This almost puts Kitty, Ryan and Zelda’s relationship well within the social norm. At least they all belong in the same age-group.

Then there is my darling Cheryl (occasional light of my life) who consistently goes to visit the “nerdy kids” in one of the science rooms during lunch, apparently because she enjoys their company. On some level this is true, but I know for a fact that she mostly goes to see Max “my hair looks like piss” Morrison. As much time as Zagreus and E and I have spent agonizing over Cheryl’s rebounding issues from David “fucktard” Duke, one would think that she’d have gotten the message telepathicaly or something. But no.

There is no denying at this point that they have a “relationship”. That bridge was burned when they went into a bookstore at the mall with the express purpose of finding a place to make-out in private. Certainly, Cheryl, by this point you must have realized that you suck at finding love? Max isn’t going to be much better for you than David (though at least Max isn’t a bloody retard). All you need is time. The time you seem bound and determined not to allot yourself.

You already know plenty about Zagreus… ah Zagreus. Though inevitably there will be more… so much more.

Then there is Mr. Adorable, as Cheryl has taken to calling him. I can’t really say that he’s part of my family, as it were, except by default (he is the very spitting image of Zagreus, if a much blonder version). But I place him under the catagory of ‘disfunctional’ because I don’t know where he fits. E interacts with him much more than I ever have, and even she isn’t sure where this sophmore “came from” or where he’s going in relation to herself (or I, for that matter). I suppose I could just label him an ongoing case and be rid of the idea for a time. In fact, I think I shall.

And that’s all the angst I can take for one day.

Kafka’s “Metamorphosis” is attempting to eat my brain. For once, I don’t mean that in a bad way. The existential idea that you are responsible for your own actions and the repercussions of thus has grabbed me by the collar and won’t let go(but then, I’ve always enjoyed the idea of entirely free will).

And for once, the “even from all this bad can come a great deal of good” hasn’t left me looking for a dark corner to puke in. This is a good thing.

Chances are it has something to do with Gregor turning into a cockroach/dungbeetle (depending on who you ask) and then promptly starving himself to death. No matter how one looks at it… there is nothing purely optimistic about this piece, and yet it ends with happiness of a sort.

Cha. Now I just have to finish “Heart of Darkness”, though Conrad does get much easier to stomach once he gets going (even if it takes quite a while).

Speaking of a Gregor… Mr. Bates is a terrible writer.  Just terrible.  I’d post part of his short story, but there is a chance that he may find this play one day, and I’m noting particularly willing to risk him finding me lampooning him on the internet.

Anyway.  He has some sense of plot, but it’s very terrible executed and his writing style is incredibly choppy.  His word choice is several years below where it probably ought to be (he is not a terribly unintelligent person), particularly in print, and his style leaves MUCH to be desired.  To top things off, it’s blatantly based off of the world of the Magic trading card game.  With any luck anyone else critiquing his work won’t notice… but that is probably too much to ask.  At the very least he could come up with some vaguely original setting, even if most of it has been done before to exhaustion.

For the record, his paper looked like it was bleeding by the time I finished editing my hard copy.

I need to remember to watch “Apocalypse Now” sometime in the near future.   I’m very willing to take any suggestion Smailes makes.

Which reminds me.  “What’s that?”  “It’s the Martini-Henry.  I didn’t know what it was, so I assumed it was a martini bar.”  “Oh right, because no self-respecting seaman would go down the Congo without a martini bar.”

“By Jove!  We’re drunk!”